Random Babbling Post #2

Yay, first to post.

I've sat here ALL day... i'm so lazy.

Drunk about a litre of Diet coke and now i'm going to the loo every 5 mins.

Now what shall we all babble about?

 

I have spent most of the day in this chair reading PS:T topics trying to find out more about the game

And someone asked me whether I fancied... someone... on the SP:BoM

I said no - because I don't.

 

When staying in a youth hostel in Germany, never sit outside in a corridor on your own and drink a litre of Sprite. It is so bad for you and your breath, it's quite unbelievable. But it does get the girls crawling all over you.

 

Stupid life, I could have been the first to post, but nooooo, my brother was on for about the past 10 hours! Lets babble about babbling! Oh what a great topic that could be! Oh, and lets exclude everyone that hates wasting time!

 

8people, you mean...you mean you don't fancy me?!

Sir Yerril, was that on a history trip then? We went to Berlin in the heart of winter last year on a school trip. Great fun

 

Funny stuff that I get by e-mail...

The Warning Signs of Insanity...

1.Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that
you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
2.You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.
3.You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends
you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
4.Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve
yourself on it.
5.You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil
dandruff spirits.
6.You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for
setting fire to his lawn decorations.
7.Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
8.People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
9.Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.
10.Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through
that scuba mask.
11.You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped
on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek
revenge.
12.You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
13.Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your
little illusion.
14.You collect dead windowsill flies.
15.Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its
wings!"
16.You like cats. Especially with mayo.
17.You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island because they
weren't rescued.
18.You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
19.You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
20.Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on
it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.
21.Melba toast excites you.
22.When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to
tell him because "the napkins have ears."
23.You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.
24.You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or
to be loved by an infectious disease.
25.You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend
that you're a stalk.
26.You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough)
27.People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a
violation of your rights as a boysenberry.
28.You keep thinking this is the year for the Red Sox.
29.You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only
Hindi.
30.You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment
to the toaster keeps you from joining them.
31.The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.
32.You like reading lists like this.

Things you would never know if it weren't for the movies...

Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable,
even if the tenants are unemployed.
One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.
It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by
one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched
their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert
on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the
age of 22.
Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two
before retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies
using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz
saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least
20 minutes to escape.
During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club
at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of a
woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one
bunch of carrots with leafy tops.
It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control
tower to talk you down.
If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while
scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your
mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to
any other part of the building without difficulty.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not
necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises
in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened to be
wearing when the car broke down.
If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel from time to time.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended
from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will
be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music in
your head.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
other.

Rules For Flight

There is a lot pilots have to take into account when hulling your ass
across the sky...
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up
there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and
vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in
clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of
luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the
ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much
as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
not subject to repeal.
24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however,
no old, bold pilots.

Things To Ponder

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.
7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly bank machines?
23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say
it.
28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

 

Dudette's party this evening was funnnnnnn... Cake was good, so was the pizza.

 

I think my connection is great it looks like and they start a new babbling topic to hehe! Souly

[ October 06, 2002, 05:47: Message edited by: JC Denton ]

 

Noooo! I've go school again tomorrow. I'm doomed!

 

For anyone who is familiar with the Lone Wolf and Cub series, here is a totally meaningless line the writer of the Kuroi Itezeru story in Creativity Surge bastardized:

" Pen is mightier than sword. Unless...dotanuki!"

*skush!*

"Rkk!"

 

Yay, a new babbling post.

Babbling about the babbling of spam would be nice to babble about .

Me? A spammer? Noooo...

 

Wildfire - er... no

I am doomed! I have to do a rationale 5 paragraphs long over one side of a4 in font 12 for tomorrow MORNING also I have to complete three posters for the same time at school before first lesson, before assembly, damn...

hmm, need to ask Frosty a few questions tomorrow

And Aikanaro - check your PM

 

Whew!! I got a little break from school work but I still have one week to go 'til I'm off the hook!

Its great to be able to post here again...

One more week 'til Periodical Exams!!! Wish me luck...

 

JIBBIDY JAB JAB JAB WOOOP! BABBLING IS SO HARD THAT YOU NEED TO BE VERY, VERY SMART TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS VERY WELL! Sorry, waaaay too much sugar and caffine for me today!

 

Hey, guess what!

I can sing I want You by SG at double speed! I discovered this after I'd got high on M&Ms - brenda said I was rapping like Eminem too

 

Um... SG?! Is that a band or something...?

*groan* Today is going to be full of geography, and moms screaming at their kids.

 

Khem, khem, err... "Spam!"

Just kidding. I just came here to see wassup as I won't be able to do so in the next week, or two, or six

/me goes back to the study room

 

SG = Savage Garden

oh yeah, it's also S Goddess, oops

 

My names not Joe, but I, am, CANADIAN! WOOOOH!