37-yr Woman, 15-yr Boy Having a Baby

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OK, we've had a bunch of topics here with an older man and a teenaged girl having a baby, and a lot of people bash the concept, while I maintain that they theoretically could be in love. So in the interest of fair and balanced reporting, here's the article. Here the situations are reversed, and my thinking is this will be more tolerable by most people's standards, even though it shouldn't be just because the sexes of the people involved are reversed. The woman is 37 and is due to have a baby this month, and the father is her 15-year old husband. What are your thoughts when it is the woman who is the adult, and the boy who is the child?

 

I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the old cultural norm of the husband being older than the wife, but I actually find this slightly more objectionable than if it was a 37 year old man and a 15 year old girl.

 

It still skeeves me out.

 

Hah, good lad. You can't fault the young 'un, so long as the woman is decent looking. Fancy trapping someone like that at that age.
Bit dodgy of the woman mind.

 

And one other thing to point out - they're married. Now, he's 15 and most states have 16 as a minimum age to get married, so this is most likely something like what we saw with the 20 year old guy and 13 year old girl. In other words, it's probably some place like Nebraska or the like.

 

Sheesh. Remind me to thank my parents for not encouraging/allowing me to get married at that age.

*shudder*

 

I don't really see the problem. Until we know what happened to him, we can't really blame his wife.
I don't like getting biographical (sp?), but this isn't surprising to me at all. It was common less than 100 years ago, and that's because people used to live less, so they had to do things earlier in life. My grandmother had my father at that age (15, not 37), and even my brother used to date a woman that doubles him in age.
Of course, there comes the law, but also to show one of its thousand gaps (or holes, or small faults or whatever). That boy wanted to be with her, and I don't see why him has to stay away from her if she's the one that is banned from seeing him.

 

One problem is that she seems to be treated as the boy's custodian. I don't believe that young people who should normally be in custody because they aren't adult yet magically acquire at the point of marriage all the responsibility they need to function as responsible adults. Therefore, by making it possible for underaged people to marry, the law is giving the idea that the last two or three years of parental custody are "just in case" and not really needed. Either that or the elder spouse ends up as a de facto custodian.

Plus, call me a sexist, but I don't really believe in healthy relationships where one of the partners is a sort of substitute parent. Perhaps a middle aged man could make it with a young woman, but that's it. The notion of elder sister is the most that can be more or less healthy. When the wife is in part a second mother, it's strange. So, again, call me a sexist all you want but it's normal for the man to be a little older because of gender roles. So when he's actually much older, it isn't as strange as when the woman is.

 

Okay, you sexist pig. Actually, it makes more sense for the woman to be older since women reach their sexual peak later in life (it's 25 for a woman and 18 or 20 for a man, IIRC). But any significant age gap (especially if it involves a 2-to-1 or greater ratio) is potentially unhealthy for the relationship. As to the specific case, I haven't met them so I can't judge; if they're breaking the law, string 'em up, but otherwise...

Having an older man and a younger woman might mean that he's less likely to take advantage of her than a younger man would be. That part plays into gender roles, but really it's about aggression. An aggressive older woman could do just as much damage to an impressionable boy as an aggressive older man could to a younger girl, but men are more likely to be aggressive than women (a testosterone thing, I believe).

 

Let's say some unhealthy relationships work and sometimes the unhealthiness of the initial situation plays a great role... I'm not a fan of separating people, you know.

What's a problem is when people start specifically looking for such relationships.

 

If they're in love and they're happy...

 

Again, you have to take the law into consideration. Last year a 53 year old man had sexual relations with a 14 year old boy. The man was from Denmark and the boy was German. This happened in Germany, where the law states that you have to be 14 to legally have sex. In Denmark the age is 15. The man was tried in Denmark, but according to German law and was set free. So what´s illegal in one part of the world is perhaps legal somewhere.

 

Are you sure the Danish court based the ruling on the German law? Perhaps it was just ruling him innocent because of the act not being a crime where it was committed. The effect is the same but it's a bit different ideologically...

 

It is very close, Tal. 1 out of 3 women get seuxally abused, and 1 out of 4 men do.


He's 15, she's 37. Unfortunately for them, I think the marriage is quite doomed. She'll be 50 by the time he is around his prime (28), and unless he is a truly faithful person, I doubt he'll be sticking around when he can have relationships with much younger women. I know I can't really make that judgement, but that is what it seems will happen... the age difference is too great for love to last.

 

They tried to convict him according to Danish law, but the judge took into account that the "crime" happened in Germany and therefore he did nothing wrong, since German law states that his deeds were not a crime. Ergo, he was released. So you could say that, chev.

 

As far as i'm concerned, that woman is a pedophile, and should be locked away, and the boy is just stupid. He wasn't thinking with his head.

 

Well, you still can´t lock the woman up, if she didn´t breaak the law. I don´t know much about the law in any other countries, but in Denmark it´s not illegal for a 15 year old boy to have a child with a 37 year old woman. It´s weird, I´ll grant you that, but not illegal. They can marry... uhhhh, at least I think they can, but the boy would have to get parental conscent.

 

Labeling the woman a pedophile is factually incorrect; By definition, the word refers to people who are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children, not teenagers - if the boy could father a child, then the woman could not technically be called a pedophile. Not sure about the 14-year old in the case Yulaw brought up, but in all likelihood the same distinction would apply. (THe word for similar condition targetting adolescents is ephebephilia)

(And why, yes, the fact that the word "Pedophile!" is cied out every time someone under 18 has relations, or if there is a relationship with any sort of a major age gap, annoys me like woah.)

feel free to point the s at me now.

 

Well, when a 37 year old man would have a relationship with a 15 year old girl, there would be nothing but outrage, so i don't see why it would be any different when the teen in question is a boy and the adult a woman. It's still not normal behaviour. A 15 year old boy is simply not up to the task of parenthood, simply because he has not reached the legal age of employement yet, and therefore cannot provide for his child.

If a 37 year old man who has sex with a 15 year old girl is labeled as a pedophile, then so should a woman who has sex with a 15 year old boy. 1+1=2.