a couple songs

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I wrote a couple songs that I'm thinking of having a dorm-mate of mine set to tunes...

What do you think? They are simple and meant to be played in dive bars by self-tought half-cocked quasi-musicians...


"Man"
--------------------
I have been dreaming alone
For too, too long
It used to be
That she mended me

I was her conscious
I was her good deed
I was her warm pain

But the change did not come
She turned her eyes
And when she looked back
She saw me plain


Oh stranger tell me
How do you be?
What thought have you had
That straightens your spine
That directs your mind

Who told you
How to be man


I’m quite thoughtful
As my belly grows warm
It’s all so clear
As my thoughts take form

No one really knows
How to be human
No one really knows
How to be human

You stranger
Do not know my secret
You friend
Cannot change


Oh stranger tell me
How do you be?
What though have you had
That straightens your spine
That directs your mind

Who told you
How to be man


If I look up
I see my faults
If I look up
I see my how small
We all are

If I look down
I see my step
Sure to fall

If I look down
I feel comfort
I’ll have another


Oh stranger tell me
How can you be?
What thought have you had
That weakens your spine
That clouds your mind

Who told you
About me


"America's Youth" (blatant rip-off)
----------------
I have a part-time job
And I attend
Community college

My car still drives
Who needs power-steering?

I have a bag of pot
And I have
Pot-smoking friends

My card still works
Who needs credit?

I have a girlfriend
And I don’t
Wear condoms any more

My charisma always charms
Who needs forever?


Yes, we are the youth of America
Oh-whoa-wo
We are the youth of America
And we want to have fun


I have some tattoos
And I have
Tattooed friends

My T-shirt is so cool
Who wouldn’t want it?

I have a bright future
And I have
So many ways to get there

My cell phone bill
Is always paid.....eventually

Damn late charges...


Yes, we are the youth of America
Whoa-oh-oh
We are the youth of America
And we want to have fun


I have nice siblings
And I have
Parents who work so hard

My face
Bears their mark

I have so many games
And I like
To play them all night long

My computer
Is smarter than me

I have the lucky man’s burden
And I have
The world to shape


Yes, we are the youth of America
Whoa-oh-wo
We are the youth of America
And we want to have fun

Yes, we are the youth of America
Whoa-oh-wo
We are the youth of America
And we want to have fun

 

I'll put something behind the first one later on and post it if I have time

 

Nice, I like it...
With some sound it would be easier to judge...

 

Not bad. Nice melody and harmony, too - I particularly like the way you’ve blended the feedback from the accordion’s amp with the tuba and ukulele.

 

You should read this book latenight http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898795192/qid=1105055149/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-0727147-1671621

 

@Splunge

Do not forget the perfectly timed triangle solo after verse two...