Dark Views (poetry)

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Some of my poetry, a couple I have posted already on the boards, but I think ill repost one of them.

~~Disclamer: These peices of poetry are written and solely owned by Robert J. Roehm. If I see any for of them in any webpage, or other form of reproduction, legal action will be pursued.~~

"Death is a dream"

Death is a dream,
Though few have it.
Death is a dream,
Though few welcome it.
Death is a dream,
Though many fear it.
Death is a dream,
That I cant have.
Deaths dream,
Would kill from the Joy to be chosen.
Deaths dream,
Would kill the loved ones who's love dreamt it.
Deaths dream,
I have had.
Deaths dream,
I have forgotten.
Deaths dream,
Is a gift.
And I have turned it down.

"Behind My Eyes"

Fire behind my eyes
Bursting in my mind
Saddened beyond knowledge
Burned by unacceptence
No knowledge of why
No knowledge of how
Behind my eyes
It's all so clear
Then i open them
And it's all lost
Cast out by non-understanding
Who understands - Who feels the same?

"Forever"

Forever do I know
The dangers of these thoughts
The knives gleam,
The bullets ring,
But what will be solved?
But whats worth staying?
fights between friends.
My fault? I think so.
My fault? I don't know.
Too much to live for.
So much to die for.
I didn't ask for this
I didn't dream for this
I'd give it up for things
To be the same,
Even as it would kill me
But its killing me now,
To know that I'm tearing
Friends apart.

{Untitled}
Thoughts of suicide float in my head.
Feelings of losses make me wish to be dead.
Tears seep from closed eyes.
Lost in the darkness of my mind.
Lost in the blackest dreams.
The sacred desires.
Feeling torn - Feeling scorn.
Feeling everything;
And nothing.

Creative critisism is welcome.. as long as its creative. And on "Behind My Eyes" the second to last line..'non-understanding' is ment to mean that I am cast out because they dont understand.

[This message has been edited by DeBhaal Stasion (edited April 07, 2002).]

 

You have brought back some bad memories and now I wish I hadnt read these. But all the same I did and I'm going to tell you what I think.

Death is a dream: Very deep, very dissterbing. I like the way it's set up though with death at ever other sentince.

Behind My Eye: I relate to this rather well, and so I am scared. This is the best I think. But I have this feeling that it's not done or some thing was left out, it's to short.

Forever: I like this one. I dont know why, it has some kind of pull to it that just drags me to it.

Untitled: I dont like it for personaly reasions and I'll leave it at that.

Over all very good. Their all well writen and I would like to read more. Great job.

 

These poems are very good.
I like the untitled very much.
It almost feels like I wrote it myself. It is just like that I feel sometimes. Thank you for writing it.
The others were very good too, but that one was something special.
Thank you.

Mind if it put it up on my site? Of course you will have copyright on it and such.

 

Eilonwy - Yes you can put it up on your site, as long as you send me a link to it via e-mail(if you cant e-mail me by clicking on the 'mail' icon ask me to give you my address)

DRSW - I'm sorry if it brings up bad memories, but the reasons i wrote them werent very pleasent either.

 

I like the feel of your poetry, you do well creating a good tone. I have only one bit of criticism, and that is I personally don't like the way you repeat "death is a dream", it is redundant and draws away from the message you are trying to portray. But I love "Behind My Eyes," it touches me, it is the one I can realy relate to.
Keep writing.

 

"Death is a dream" is supposed to be repetitive. it was ment to repeat that line, because of the meaning of the words.

[edit]

As i was asked to post more poems, here is another one:

"Gone"

Into the night
Ever into darkness
Boldened to follow
Cowed to beleive
Never thinking
On one's own
Doing as told
Lost in trying to please
Never thinking
On one's own
To far gone
Would never beleive
They had a choice.

I wonder how many can guess who "they" are?

[/edit]

[This message has been edited by DeBhaal Stasion (edited April 07, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by DeBhaal Stasion (edited April 07, 2002).]

 

I'd like to hear more. These are good.

 

Thanks for posting a reply, didnt want to have to edit another poem into my last post.

"Questions"

I question the differences,
You dont know the answers.
Why do I question?
Why dont you know?

I dont understand my questions,
Neither do you.
Why dont I understand.
Why dont you?

Somewhere there are answers,
Somewhere out there.

Can you tell me where?
Why not?

Some say - finding your religion,
Will answer your questions.
Well I've found mine,
Where are the answers?


"Lost"

I'm lost in my life,
None can help me,
I could help myself,
If only I knew how.

How can I find my self?
How can I find who I am?
How can you say you know me?
When I dont even know myself?

How can you know whats best,
When you dont even know me?

How can things be so wrong?
Never can I put it right.
Forever will I be lost,
Lost like I am.

 

Nice. Not the best work I have ever seen, but impressive nonetheless. Oh, and interesting too.

 

ok.
Thank you again DeBhaal Stasion, for the poem. It brings some bad memories back to me though, but that's good. I need to handle those times I feel like I wish I was dead. It's better now, I have started to get my selfesteem back.
Thanks