Do Overzealous Parents Interfere with Education

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Many teachers are complaining that overzealous parents are interfering with their ability to do their jobs. Supposedly, these parents call up the teachers all the time angry because their "perfect little angel" screwed up. The teachers then become stressed with this.

It is mostly college professors complaining about this. Since it is illegal for them to share information about a student's performance with anyone but that student, the parents begin to become angry.

My question to you all: How far can parents go in ensuring their children to get their education?

 

It is a parent's job to make sure that his/her/their child(ren) get a good education and a good life. Those parents who don't plan a halfway decent life for their children aren't exactly the best ones. A parent should help and encourage the child, but also reprimand the child and enforce studies if they are necessary. The parent should only do this in the best interests of the family, and the child should understand that (assuming the parents have good intentions) that his/her mom and pop are doing their best to prepare them for the world.

However, things do get out of hand often. Rebellion can be a frequent problem. Child hates his strict parents? S/he might turn to drugs or gangs. In this case, the parents should have a right to know what is going on, but they should act in the best interests of the child - to help him/her get a better life in the long run.

Conversely, parents might push their children too hard. They might force their children to study subjects and notes, but the parents might not even have the slighest clue what their child(ren) are studying! In this case, the parent should be talking with the teachers, school, and the child so as to which how much study is needed and what parts of studying are crucial.

If a child is failing all his classes, and his parents take away his Baldur's Gate CDs, there's probably a good reason involved. The child might just thank his parents 5 years down the road when he's on scholarship to Yale. Parents ought to act in the best interests, and show love, whether be it tough or soft. However, parents should do their best to be a good example and not try to domineer over their child's life, but to help them.

On how far a parent can go, he/she/they should be able to look into homework, teachers, and have an honest discussion with the student and counselors. Counselors are not parents; children must have an open dialogue with both the parents and counselors.

If a child is not doing well, the teacher really shouldn't be getting too much of the blame. The parent needs to examine his own life and understand how much he himself is doing to help his child. Teachers should not withhold information. However, in the case of college, that is a different matter, because parents (usually) can no longer check in on their kids. In that case, hopefully the parents have imbued their kids with enough sense to let thme be able to take care of themselves and be able to understand the effects of not doing well academically.

[ December 20, 2002, 03:42: Message edited by: C'Jakob ]

 

In regards to college it's none of the business of the parents what goes on there. I completely agree with the notion that a college instructor cannot share information with anyone but the student. When someone goes to college they should be able to think and reason on their own and not their mother and/or father breathing down their neck. I'm in college right now and I'd be very unhappy if my mother started sticking her nose in to my performance at school, it's my problem, not her's.

 

I believe that it is important to parents to know what their children are doing in school... I am a textbook example. Take the last spring, for example. I just spent all my time at school in the computer lab hanging in the internet doing who knows what (Well... mostly hanging in SP and reading slash...) ánd telling everyone that oh, I'm in class, not skipping school at all, nope, not...

Yeah, parents should know what their kids are doing while they still can affect their children's attitudes towards studying. My attitude towards studying has been forever spoiled because comprehensve school was so easy that I never had to study to get good grades.

When in college, a person should (note: SHOULD) be mature enough to know what thy're doing, period.

Ara
(Gone soon... *snif*)

 

I think it also depends on the child, you either hate to learn or you like to learn. Now when a child hates to learn the parents should put some pressure on him/her but they should stay on a fine line and not cross it, otherwise the child may 'revolt'.

Hey, that's child abuse

My parents once took the key of my computer and once they took the mouse, I just tabbed and entered my way through the net

 

Wow, an overzealous parent? Heh, when I was growing up, I would've killed for my family to care about my school work, but alas! I was a child of emotional abuse and they couldn't care less. But, bah, I didn't worry about it much. I didn't work for them, I worked for me, and that's how these college kids should think too.

Seriously, if the parent is still inferring in the child's life when that person's in college, then, they just need to let go, plain and simple. The kid's on their own now, and mommy and daddy can't hold their hand through life of the sharks known as people will eat them alive.

Still, it surprises me, overzealous parents. I never heard of such a phrase. Intriguing.

 

The line between encouragament and care and smothering and being overbearing is a thin one for parents. Too many mistake the second for the first. If the parent hasnt instilled a school and work ethic in their child and made them aware that it is their future on the line what will it help if they doublecheck every homework, critizise on anything below an A? The child must learn to to study for its own sake and not for it parents. The sad thing is that the children with overbearing parents has most often already had that ethics hammered into them and would do splendidly without parents doublechecking everything. The kid will get fed up or snap and then most is lost. On the other hand so isnt Darkgodesses parents way very good either. Too many children never realise the importance of school as they havent heard it at home and if they arent bright enough to figure it out by themselves they are screwed.
As has been said care and encouragement is vital but to let it turn into a smothering control and overbearing demands may be as dangerous as not caring at all. Whoever said that parenting was supposed to be easy?
On the college level, if the parents hasnt let go by then there is something fundamentally wrong with their relation to their child. Sure a bit of encouragement and care can be nice here as well but when all things are considered it is none of their buisness. Heck I am quite annoyed at my father because everytime we talk all he seems to care about is study results and it is grating on ones nerves and leads me to be very short with him and not wanting to talk to him very often. Even if my study results are just fine his prying is annoying.

 

My parents just gave a shove in the good direction when I was 8, "see, school is good, get smart"
After that they never bothered to see make worries about my school, and its going great
Since its better to make your own mistakes and learn from those

 

i have ONE great parent... they are divorced and my mum is a ***** while my dad is a great dad IMHO... he doesn't care much for my or my brothers education but he also have four brothers and their life isn't so good becouse of their lack of education... one even still lives with his mother... he is 35 but is moving out tomorrow... so he said that i can do whatever i like in school but i must take the consecvences(sp?)... that is how it should be... in my family we doesn't talk much with eachother but still we cares for eachother... FYI i am 15 years old...

 

I agree with joacqin in that parents need to instill a work ethic in their kids when it comes to school.
I believe that parents should be involved in their childrens schooling, by meeting with the teachers and helping with the studies. If parents work with teachers, rather then against them, the kid has a better chance of being successful in school. This reactionary "my little angel" crap is ridiculous.
As far as college is concerned, the parents should only have a say if they are paying for it. I paid my own way through college and, for the most part, got poor grades. I partied to much, blew off class, and did not study hard. It took me 5.5 years to finish my degree (B.S. in Applied Math), but I did finish, got a decent job as a computer programmer, and have been successful since then. If my parents had been paying, they would have pulled me out of school because of my poor grades (they did this to my brother) and who knows where I would be now.

 

All I'm going to say is yes, yes they do.

 

May I ask how many of you who responded to this actually ARE parents?

 

Not me, but I am studying to become a teacher and have been out in the schools. So I have some info from that side atleast.

 

I know the feeling Ara.

In my case, after applying (and getting accepted) to one of the finest business schools in the nation during my junior/senior year of high school, my ambition took control and I really buckled down on my own and got my priorities straightened out.

I agree with most of you. Until the end of high school, parents should put a reasonable amount of pressure on their children to study hard (not necessarily be concerned with grades), but rather with how much the child is learning.

In college, the parents really don't have much say. Sure, they're paying for it but in most families both the parents and the kids are paying a significant portion and the students really should be responsible enough to do what needs done.