Maturity of Boys and Girls

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This was said by one of the SP members, and I don't mention her name because this is common rumor and I have nothing against her, but I think that is just plain bullsh*t. If there is something I hate, there is this common thought.

I mean, we(boys) don't mature slower than girls, they just mature in another way. I mean, some things that boys have encountered early and have taken care of girls won't be enough "mature" until they are 60-70 years old, the same is other things for the reverse. I know that we boys seem immature at the ages 12-20 but believe me, most guys I know thinks that girls in the range between 20 and 25 are VERY, and I mean VERY(!!), immature. Does that mean that girls stop maturing at the age of 20 and suddenly starts again in the age of 26? NO!! It just means that girls and boys mature in different ways.

/End Rant

 

You're likely talking mental maturity. On average, girls mature sexually two years before boys.

 

The relevant question is what aspect of maturation one is focusing on and even before that, how 'maturation' is defined.
The answer to the latter in this case is probably:

"the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level"

Since maturation is sometimes also used to talk about the development of cognitive abilities, experience etc. it is difficult to refute that argument.

 

Hey there Caleb, we seem to run into each other quite often on these boards, don't we?

Now calm down honey, I never meant to offend anyone by my maturity talk. You're quite right, everyone matures differently... And I shouldn't make generalities.
It's just that personnally, I have encountered more immature boys than girls (always mentally speaking) .
Now, once again, sorry I have offended you. I'll try to choose my words more carefully next time.

 

Girls are always more mature then boys, it is the way it is.

 

Well, as I said, there was nothing against you, it was against the common myth.

Also, I meant mentally, not biologically.

 

Girls women tend to put a lot of stock in "maturity" of all kinds. Boys/Men just dont care and do what they want without bothering too much whether it is mature or not. What do you dthink is the most mature?

 

In addition to joacqin thought, is there much either boys or girls can do about it?

 

Sexual maturity is usually achieved faster by girls. The youngest mother recorded was closing to 10 (yes, ten), while the youngest father I've heard of was about 12 (I'm not aware if at the moment of conception or of birth). However, it may well be about 12-13 for a boy, which isn't so rare and 14 for a girl, which isn't so rare either.

As for intellectual and mental maturity, there is more of politics than science in it.

Feminists will babble about emotional literacy.

Militant males will mumble something about stamina, toughness etc.

A bit farther from the extremes, you have empathy, responsibility, reliability, economy (management), willpower and several others.

From my experience, I can say that:

• Boys until a certain age typically hit first, think later. Good for the atypical ones, I guess.
• Boys until a certain age don't feel comfortable in the world of emotion. As if they ever really did, anyway.
• Boys feel an urgent need to prove better than everyone in the universe. Can't be cured.
• Girls after a certain age are beyond help when it comes to rational thinking. Academic training at university level sometimes helps.
• Girls typically don't bother keeping promises. Those who bother fail.
• When girls speak about feelings, they typically mean their own feelings. They don't know what's wrong about that.

If general stupidity is concerned, both genders are equal. By this I mean that there are jocks and there are cheerleaders. For each boy with a ball in place of brain, you have a girl who goes for that type. And for each plastic doll clad in a whole pallette of cand colours, you have a boy who goes for that type. Things being as they are, the conclusion is downright obvious: they are both asking for it and getting it.

Another factor is stress. I believe that on day-to-day basis women appear more mature, while in difficult situations men take over. Let's take a relationship as an example. The boy is more likely to behave less than spotlessly, while for a girl it'll be easier to restrain. However, in a situation like incredibly-attractive-beautiful-smart-and-nice-stranger-approaching, you have fifty fifty for a boy and practically a sure failure for a girl.

 

Chev, what about clarifying 'certain age'?!

 

I look forward to all the flames you're going to get for that comment! Brace yourself!

What were you thinking? That is one heck of a generalisation.

[ March 27, 2004, 23:09: Message edited by: Harbourboy ]

 

I am eager to hear an experienced view from the girls side on this and see how much that differs from chevaliers

 

LOL...Glad to see that you think we beasts can be trained at SOME point in our lives.

Both of these statements seem quite absurd to me. The second statement is simply ludicrous, if you truly believe it. Or maybe you just wrote to see what kind of reaction you'd get.

 

Now, I don't believe all that to be true, Chev. Here's my point of view on the whole situation. In my experience, I've found that girls say that guys aren't mature enough is that most women like stability. (Note: I said "most" women.) They want to settle down with someone and not have to worry about going out into the ****storm that we know as dating. And, generally, girls have that impulse at a fairly young age.

For guys, it's totally different. I mean, y'all just don't care about settling down when you're 20. Y'all want to have fun and such for as long as you can, which is why most of y'all don't even think of settling down until you're finished with school and have a decent job and so on and so forth. I've found that that impulse to settle down with guys doesn't usually happen until the late 20s and early 30s.

Hence, based strictly on observation, I would have to say that's why girls think that guys are immature. It's all about priorities with this one, and we're just on a different wavelength. That's why there are so many girls who date or get married to guys that are older then them. Not to say that the reverse can't happen, but the former is the more common scenario.

So, Chev, basically, what I'm trying to say that all that stuff you said was total crap and needs to be seriously given another thought.

 

Pretty much yes, but he did say "from his experience” which obviously he does not have a lot of.

Anyway,

<- Who in the right mind would want to settle down at that age?

 

That's another thing that I really don't agree with, but can't help that it's a part of society. It seems to me that girls are bred with the idea in their heads that they have to settle down young, get married and have kids. Like that's all a woman's good for in life. Makes me sick, but I'd be stupid if I said that that isn't the mentality that's pumped into girls.

Oh, sure, sure, feminism prevents it from happening in the big cities, but in small towns, like the one I live in, that backwater mentality still stands through the test of time. Matter of fact, my b/f's nephew told me that he wanted to get married by the time he was 21. Horrible. Not to mention that I know plenty of girls that are 17 and 18 and happily married. I can only shake my head in sadness.

 

I mostly agree, although I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to get married at 20. I'm sure that we all know examples where it has worked out fine and in those cases, nothing would have been gained by waiting. One of the happiest and most stable families I know revolves around a couple that married at 20. You only get one life, and if a happy family is the most important thing in that life then you could argue that waiting until 30 is just wasting 10 years that could be spent doing the thing you most wanted to do.

But, of course, if a young girl felt pressured into doing it before she was ready, just because it was expected, then that is an undesirable state of affairs.

I guess what I am saying is that things apply differently to different people.

 

In truth do I tell you:

Shortly after they cease to be little girls, the most logical beings ever to exist

Yea, I knew what was coming.

Yes. It was made on purpose. I know about one exception to the rule, know about several others. A few drops in the sea. It probably appears more serious than it is - after all the world is still going on - but it's true nonetheless.

In such discussions, when such questions pop up, girls always say the same, only the nicks change

Sometimes, however, comes in one more affected by life. Especially one whom the life forced to learn from things happening. Her reaction will lack the righteous zeal presented in this thread.

Before you ask, yes, I have heard women say all the things I said. Many times.

No, Spelly. I believe it. And I knew what reaction I would get.

I don't see any connection between my belief in it and its being ludicrous. And it's not so simple.

The truth is that for women promises are of a relative rather than absolute nature. One could as well add "if it'll be convinient", or "if it won't be overly troublesome". Only few consider themselves bound by a promise or a word once given. But they're not magically freed from the relativity.

Will I get anything else than a subjective evaluation of my statements as hilarious? Or a claim that I don't believe in what I myself say?It makes me think about maturity, you know...

Agreed, girls get to that at some point. But not really at a fairly young age. Most girls below the age of 25-26 I know, don't see things that way. Before that age, they avoid anything permanent. However, it surely depends on the culture. Where divorce is easily obtained and widely accepted, hardly anything is really permanent. Generally, the less education, the more true the generalisation is. The less risk of getting tied down, the more true it is, too.

I'm not saying men are different. Both sexes are pretty much equal here.

Why should I establish a household at the age of 20? And how, in the first place? Marry a random woman, invite her to my parents' house, make babies, leave my studies and sweep streets for a living?

No, I don't want to have fun "and such" for as long as I can. I want my studies finished and job secured, because I want a house for my children and a considerable steady income to pay for it and keep it going.

As a gratuitous trivia, I can tell you I was all about getting steady when I was 20. I was even more so when I was 19. Or 18. I could tell you tales about girls not wanting commitment hours. I'm not telling you that guys are better. I'm telling you that both sexes are the same in this regard.

The inference is valid and correct so long as the premises are. Reservations as to premises explained above.

Such bold words should generally be backed by some authority. Forgive my audacity, but I fail to see any. What I see, is an emotional and zealous reaction to implied criticism. I also see a nice set of generalisation with the word "all" actually and explicitly used. Speaking of maturity.

Also, basically, switch the sides and substitute "crap" with something like "defensively orientated logical nonsense" and you will have ready feedback from me.

1. I disagree with what chev says.
2. I am experienced. (obviously)
3. If I disagree with chev, chev disagrees with me.
4. If chev disagrees with me and I am experienced, chev disagrees with someone who is experienced.
5. Chev is inexperienced. (obviously)

End of "obvious" inference.

That would be it, in the subject of maturity. Ladies, thanks for the show.

Harbourboy: see what I was talking about?

Who's next?

 

After my girlfriend read this discussion and particulary Chev's replies, she finally understood what I was talking about, as I've tried to tell her and make her understand the same thing I posted here.

That means that a girl that is 17 and is a femininst(but so am I so who cares) is on Chev's side.

 

All right, you asked for it. Boys are generally interested in one thing. All this other nonsense they spout simply reflects their disgruntlement at not scoring.