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Relationship Rant Thread #6

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Beren, Dec 26, 2008.

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  1. Beren

    Beren Lovesick and Lonely Wanderer Staff Member Member of the Week Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    I decided to close the previous thread a little early and start a new one, since it provided an opportunity to set out some practical advice and clarifications on what can go and what shouldn't go in this sort of thread.

    First of all, this thread has traditionally served a couple of functions, such as 1) an emo dumping ground or chest letting off when things have gone sour in our personal lives or 2) news highlights, good news included or 3) waxing deep or poetic once in a while about intimate relationships generally. In the past thread though, I noticed things took a turn that would have been more appropriate for the Alley of Dangerous Angles. Henceforth, such discussions should be saved for this thread:

    http://www.sorcerers.net/forums/showthread.php?p=666549#post666549


    Secondly, a friendly reminder to keep it civil and avoid getting personal with each other.

    Thirdly, an admonition with reference to the above reminder, but in a more specific context. As a moderator and a chat room op, I'm familiar with a few instances where people have met each other through this site and started relationships with each other that have since gone south. This sort of situation often leads to lingering luggage between different posters. My sincere recommendation is to think twice about posts directly addressed to someone that you may have been involved with but no longer are. Technically, this doesn't violate SP's forum rules. The problem is, luggage from a broken relationship can easily become a slippery slope towards personal ad hominem attacks. If you cannot address a post directly to an ex without your past inducing you towards a rules violation, than it is better not to post at all. Private Message is the only proper medium for that sort of thing. And if your ex has blocked you, well ... if things took that turn, maybe you should ask yourself what's the point, right?
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2008
    Beren, Dec 26, 2008
    #1
  2. Saber

    Saber A revolution without dancing is not worth having! Veteran

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    Is that like a place where DotW puts all the bodies of the emos he has slain? :p ;)

    I'll be the first emo in the thread...

    I should learn to stop feeling things, it would really help me not get so hurt after people I love leave me. (Sounds kind of like a Dashboard song...)

    Basically, the one thing I do really well in life is love people. My relationships are the most important things to me, and the person I lost recently was (is) without a doubt the most important person in my life. I love her with all my heart, and despite my age, I could see myself with her for a long time (we're not talking marriage*... I just could see us going on for a lot longer than we did).

    Haha and I gave her a Christmas present covertly (I left it on her doorstep, she doesn't really want to see me, so I avoided a confrontation) with a letter saying how I feel, and I haven't heard back yet, which is surprising. I was expecting an angry text or email or something. Perhaps she cares so little that she just ignored it? Whatever, if she got it, she did, and her lack of response doesn't prove anything I didn't know - she doesn't care at all.

    * 'cause it looks like no one on SP can actually define it :p
     
    Saber, Dec 26, 2008
    #2
    ChickenIsGood likes this.

  3. ChickenIsGood Gems: 23/31
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    Is this the same girl that wanted you two to have a semi-open relationship (or whatever)? Since you evidently care for her very much, I imagine that you held out as long as you can, knowing it would end soon... I don't envy that situation.

    Made me laugh a little :)
     
    ChickenIsGood, Dec 26, 2008
    #3
  4. Saber

    Saber A revolution without dancing is not worth having! Veteran

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    Yeah, this is the same girl. The thing is, everything seemed like it was going fine, I didn't think it was going to end, and then she just whipped it out on me...

    I think a couple things contributed to it, including the fact that I got alcohol poisoning and nearly died in the first week of school and she was pissed about it for two weeks.

    She just lost her romantic feelings for me. I think she wanted someone closer to home... even though I wasn't that far away. Someone she can see everyday.
     
    Saber, Dec 27, 2008
    #4

  5. SuperGuyTurboX Gems: 1/31
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    Sounded kinda wrong:p
     
    SuperGuyTurboX, Dec 27, 2008
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  6. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    Basically Saber, she's probably not that great but you miss her more because you feel you can't have her. It's how the human brain tends to work. If she was still interested you'd probably not care so strongly. If you find another girl to use as a rebound you'd feel 10x better about the situation. I've been there a few times myself.

    I'm in a nearly-similar situation, in that I recently finished my ex who REALLY cared about me, but now sort of wish I hadn't. She's now starting to move on and it seems she's over me, which makes me want her back even more. I sometimes miss her so much it hurts, especially at night when there's just me, 4 walls and my thoughts. But if I did get back with her, I'd probably realise why we finished. It's just the cycle of the human brain. You'll be alright, lad.
     
    Barmy Army, Dec 27, 2008
    #6
  7. revmaf

    revmaf Older, not wiser, but a lot more fun

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    Never relationship ranted before, but I just got a belated Christmas newsletter from a guy I broke up with - count 'em! - nearly 30 years ago! :hmm:

    Aside from the fact that the decades involved indicate just how much of a :geezer: I am compared to most SP'ers, I don't have a clue what to make of it. He's married, has kids about the age of most SP'ers, and from the newsletter sounds reasonably happy with his life. Or did his wife send it out? How did I get on their list?
     
    revmaf, Dec 27, 2008
    #7
  8. dmc

    dmc Speak softly and carry a big briefcase Staff Member Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    It may be that he went through a phase of trying to reconnect with a part of his life that he is nostalgic for, and therefore sent it to a number of people from that era of his life. Or it may be that you are on a list that he accidentally merged into his list and he has no clue. If he truly is pining for you, in particular, you'll hear from him again and can deal with it then. I'd sit tight if it were me and do nothing.
     
    dmc, Dec 28, 2008
    #8
  9. revmaf

    revmaf Older, not wiser, but a lot more fun

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    dmc, you're probably right - either nostalgia or accident. Hope so, my life is complicated enough. I'm not going to respond, I think.
     
    revmaf, Dec 28, 2008
    #9
  10. Disciple of The Watch

    Disciple of The Watch Preparing The Coming of The New Order Veteran

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    A semi-regular cust was hitting on Yours Truly yesterday. She probably felt like she hit a brick wall -- between going cold turkey on energy drinks, tiredness and being pissed off, that's what happens. Hope she stops by sometime, it wasn't her fault if I gave her an ice-cold welcome. I might also have 12-gaged any slim chance I had. [censored] happens, I guess.

    *EDIT* In a rather interesting twist, it turns out that that semi-regular was accompanied by a chick I went to Adult's ed with. Was struck with a strange feeling of having seen her somewhere... turns out it was the case. She stopped by yesterday, and she was the one to recognize me, and we actually spoke for a good 10 minutes or so (which is something my boss normally would rip my head off for), filling me up on what's been going on since then. Funny thing is, back in the days, I was your Raven-esque loner who just minded his own buisness and didn't gave a damn about the rest of the world... my point is, she and I very (and I stress *very*) seldomly spoke back in the day, so I was honestly taken by surprise when she stroke up conversation.

    A most interesting specimen, this one. Tough as nails, too. We'll see where things go -- if they go anywhere.

    And, on a different note:

    I don't slay emos, I choke 'em out... either that or put 'em through barbed wire boards. Or, depending on my mood, it could just be a Hardcore Drop onto a pane of glass, barbed wire, set it all ablaze... and BUUURRRNN, EMO, BURN!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2008
    Disciple of The Watch, Dec 30, 2008
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  11. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    I am trying to figure out why I emailed an emo rant to the only girl I have ever met that actually gets me, and understands me and actually wants to be with me. Unfortunately she lives in the US, and I have only physically met her once, why doth fate hate me so??
    Anyway, why do I rant to her? It can only end up souring my potential relationship with her when I move to the US. I really, really aggravate myself sometimes, if there wasnt already a hole in my door, I'd end up putting another in it.
     
    Dalveen, Jan 7, 2009
    #11
  12. Kitrax

    Kitrax Pantaloons are supposed to go where!?!?

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    Oh hell...you whiners needed a second thread?!?! Suck it up and take it like a man! :p

    /me ducks to avoid being hit by random flying objects

    The wife and I are fine...no major fights in the longest time. She was "mad" at me for the past two days because I turned down an offer for sex...In my defense, I really wasn't feeling good, and when I don't feel good, Kit Jr. stays in his cage. Anyway...the situation has resolved itself...simple as that. :D
     
    Kitrax, Jan 7, 2009
    #12
  13. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] :lol:

    I can empathise with Mrs Kit :p

    Situation has resolved itself in an unusual way here though :mommy:
     
    8people, Jan 7, 2009
    #13

  14. Iku-Turso Gems: 26/31
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    Ho-ho! Is it a place for congratulations 8? :p

    Do't tell, me...he didn't... :mommy:
     
    Iku-Turso, Jan 7, 2009
    #14
  15. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] No, no congratulations here I'm afraid :p
    Nothing I can elaborate on either :lol:
     
    8people, Jan 7, 2009
    #15

  16. Iku-Turso Gems: 26/31
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    Oh, hokay, then:

    Oh no you didn't! :p
     
    Iku-Turso, Jan 7, 2009
    #16
  17. Disciple of The Watch

    Disciple of The Watch Preparing The Coming of The New Order Veteran

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    Interestingly, I went to the convenience store next to where I live, and AGAIN, it was a guy working, until my turn came. That cute redhead chick took the guy's place to serve me. This is the third time it happens.
     
    Disciple of The Watch, Jan 9, 2009
    #17
  18. Saber

    Saber A revolution without dancing is not worth having! Veteran

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    Very nice :) I couldn't get the nerve to try and continue a conversation with this really cute girl who was checking me out (in both senses :p) at an H&M a bit ago... I really should have...
     
    Saber, Jan 9, 2009
    #18
  19. Disciple of The Watch

    Disciple of The Watch Preparing The Coming of The New Order Veteran

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    She's been involved with someone for 2+ years, so no deal.
     
    Disciple of The Watch, Jan 19, 2009
    #19
  20. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Crushes suck!
     
    8people, Jan 20, 2009
    #20
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