The Male Code

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I'm hoping you can help me with a little research here.
My friend and I are kicking around the idea of writing a book on the Male Code. I'm sure there have been books covering this topic, but I haven't found any covering just this topic.
First off, would any of you purchase a book on the topic?
Second, what do you think would be important sections to cover in the book?
Some we are throwing around are;
-public restroom etiquete.
-the code in a theater
-when is it acceptable for a guy to cancel out on plans with his buddy
-gift giving
-asking out a buddy's ex
Any comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

 

Pubic restroom etiquette: the at-least-one-urinal-away-unless-there-are-covers rule.

 

Well, my first answer is: be a gentleman. But I realise it's utopian and I think it's a good idea to let the crowds grasp some basic manners, even if it's a doomed effort. So, in shape of Basic Good Manners for Dummies, you can tell them this:

Oaz makes a very important point. Another one is: no talking. Ever. Especially to me. Well, and no peeking. Also keep a mile away from me if you don't wash your hands after letting go of the burden.

If you mean cinema, usual stuff: have a bath before leaving your house, don't litter, don't talk, switch the mobile off, try to eat and have oral sex in silence. If you mean proper theatre, well... people who need to be told how to behave in a cinema, shouldn't really go to a theatre. But just in case: proper English, no swearing, proper hygiene, suit. If suit is alien to you, just get something clean and ironed. Try not to slam the door in a woman's face.

When you have a reason, you tell it. Must be something really serious, but it's like in business or dating, no difference. Except maybe for that your buddy will probably still want to see you again

Pray, no articles of clothing, jewelry, toiletries and stuff. OK? Preferably no porn or "toys" either. Alcohol, CDs, mugs, pens...

1. Women are not property.
2. Ex is past, as opposed to current.
3. A friend's ex is usually your own friend too.

Anyway, if they agree to split up because they don't really match or something like that, then there's no problem. If your friend had been a bastard, well, there's no reason for her to pay for that. She wants to date you, and you like her, let her do. This makes one selfish bastard less. And you're the first person to tell him what a bastard he had been to a poor girl. If she had been a *****, common sense dictates you had better think twice. For your own good. So I guess no one in sane mind would pick up a girl who's just been dumped by a friend whom she had been cheating. If they had been together for long and had a habit of splitting up and comming back in a little time, then they'd better be left alone this time too. So, each case is individual. Among lower classes, however, it's practically a law, not aking out a friend's ex, ever.

Eh, just leave alone the current one (unless she's a friend of yours too and you're just hanging out), or one that's hitting on him (see previous brackets), or one he loves - if you only just fancy her (see previous brackets). And so on.

[ January 13, 2004, 15:31: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Wouldn't the Seinfeld series be the best place to get this kinda info? I always thought that show was crap but I recall seeing bits and pieces where they had something like 3-episode discussions on this kind of social etiquette.

Nothing much more to add to what's already been said, but the minimum of one urinal between seems to be a world-wide given, as is the no peeking/no talking unless you're pissed and prepared to be ignored.

As far as cancelling plans, most guys know their friends well enough for this to be expected on occasion if there's a hot date or work involved, same with gift-giving, mates should know each other's tastes well enough to know when porn and 'toys' are wrong (and of course, ties, underwear and socks are usually death wishes).

The big one though that most guys run into is dating exes. Sure, women aren't property but isn't there some kind of 'waiting period' involved? I know that when this particular ex-friend of mine dated various other firends exes it was usually within an hour or so of the break-up and he got belted quite a few times for not waiting at least a week.

 

The first two rules of fight club:

1. You don't tell anybody about the Male Code.

2. You don't tell anyone about the Male code.

 

1. Restroom Etiquete: Just go! Don't talk.

2. Theater Etiquete: Whatever you do, do it quietly, period.

3. Buddy Etiquete: Right before the last one leaves the house to go to the get together. Of course, with a cell phone, this changes to right before they all get drunk.

4. Gift Etiquete: Birthdays, Anniversaries, Valentine's Day. Enough Said. Keep it simple, flowers, jewerly, nice card, chocolate.

5. Dating a friend's ex: Go for it, especially if she is hot. It's not like they are dating anymore.

 

BIG no on dating a friend's ex. They broke up.

1) If he dumped her: If she's not good enough for him, why would she be good enough for you?
2) If she dumped him: Do I even need to explain this?

Unless the friend gives you an "a-okay, I've no heartache over her" then fine. If not, go for the "bro before ho" rule.

 

I included waiting period when I made the reservation about a habit of breaking up and getting back together. Or in case of hasty break-ups, etc. Generally the rule I go by is that the good of the girl is the most important thing here. This way, I once advised my friend to dump a toxic boyfriend, leave the toy-friends and get some rest when she needed it, even though I fancied her a lot and could have gone for it. Not like I'm delusional enough to believe most people would Anyway, no benefitting from friend's loss if we put it this way.

Faragon, if she's been a beyotch to your friend, you won't side with her for obvious reasons like normally with friends' enemies, no matter who dumped whom in the end.

 

You missed the rule where the closeness of the friendship between males determines the intensity of insults they use amongst themselves.

 

That's a very important rule.

And I feel like writing an own book on rules about female friends.

 

For the bathroom etiquete, I have always heard that you can only talk if you are on the same plateau as it were. If you are both in line, conversation is acceptable. Both at the urinal, casual conversation is acceptable. But no talking to your buddy if your in line and he is at the urinal.

And the position is important as well. If there are two free urinals, take the one farthest away from the other guy. It is that easy.

 

Eh, there are different standards for what is acceptable. In line, maybe yes. Especially if it's two guys who, like, have been working on something and both felt a desperate need to go out. Before they get back to work, they still babble about it until back in the office. Sort of. Or even if you meet a guy you know. But starting talks with strangers is awful. It's like Blood Rage cast on me, when that happens.

The rule of non-adjacent urinals was mentioned in the first reply to pop up, btw

 

Code for Ordering Drinks in a Bar when with "the guys":

Beer, mixed drinks (rum + coke, etc.).
No cocktails like Pina Colada's, Singapore Slings, anyting with umbrellas, etc. No wine.