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Veterans' Park - A Short Story (Fantasy)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Brascait, May 12, 2004.

  1. Brascait Gems: 1/31
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    Atop a grassy hill stood a man with many sorrows. Having been a soldier all his life he was witness to countless battles and endless bloodshed. Many had fallen by his sword, and many of his friends had fallen by the swords of his enemies. Untold horrors have forever scarred his mind, and he has much to grieve for. Always will the boyish faces of those whom he had slain in battle haunt his dreams. At the time, he had tried to convince himself he killed only to serve the will of his divine king, but now he questioned his king's claim to divinity. What kind of god would command his followers to slay countless men to further his quest for power and wealth? Surely no god worth worshipping would require such sacrifices. And now here was the man/soldier/killer standing atop the hills of Veterans' Park.

    Looking down into the valley before him he beheld a great multitude. Countless men stood before him, wandering aimlessly. For it was here that those who died in battle came to dwell, still arrayed in their bloodstained battle garb. Feeling the urge to join them in their macabre roving, the man stumbled down onto the plain. Walking among the fallen soldiers he examined their emaciated forms. Etched with battle-scars, the faces of the fallen betrayed their sorrow. No hope shone in their eyes, no glimmer of joy, no spark of life. Happiness had long since fled from their troubled souls. Now the fallen did nothing but wander the fields of Veterans' Park.

    As the man brushed up against one of the fallen he beheld its thoughts. Images of battle filled his mind, and he beheld the fallen soldier in his last moments of life. The fallen was charging the enemy with his comrades, his spear ready to draw blood. Feeling the fear of the fallen soldier, the man could only watch the scene before his eyes with rapt attention. With malice in his heart, the fallen sought to kill his enemy. He continued charging and in but a moment he would be upon his enemy, where he could fulfill his desires for honor and glory. Letting forth a yell, he thrust his spear into the chest of an enemy soldier. Blood gushed from the wound, and the man's eyes widened in pain. As a bloody gurgle escaped from the dying man's throat, his eyes remained locked onto those of his killer's. But the killer averted his eyes in search of another enemy. He rushed another man, and jabbed at him with his spear. The enemy deflected it and thrust his sword into the belly of the fallen.

    Collapsing onto the ground, the fallen soldier could not even remember why he was fighting in the battle. Had the enemy invaded his land? Had the enemy wronged his people in some way? He couldn't recall the reason, but it mattered not. As his life poured out of him onto the battlefield, he thought of his mother. Did she know where he was? Did she know what fate had befallen him? He cried out to her, but inwardly he knew she wouldn't hear him. No one heard him - they were too caught up in the bloodshed around them to dwell upon the fallen soldier. At the conclusion of the battle his body would remain on the field to be carrion for scavengers. His general would receive a casualty report, where he would be remembered as a number. He was but a unit of currency, spent on the purchase of whatever his truculent government desired.

    The man stepped away from the fallen soldier. Looking into the fallen's eyes he understood why the ghost felt nothing but sorrow. The fallen was damned, forever doomed to relive his killing and his death. Glancing around him, the man noticed once more how many men surrounded him. Innumerable fallen soldiers stumbled about, also doomed to endlessly experience their deaths and the deaths of those whom they had killed. They will remain in their damned state until all war has ceased, and men no longer feel malice one toward another. There they will remain, in the endless desolation of Veterans' Park.

    Comments? Criticisms?

    -Brascait Takar
     
  2. Jaguar Gems: 27/31
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    Veteran

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    Well written, though you certaintly killed my happy mood. You write in nice detail, as though you feel for the characters that you write about.

    Good Job :thumb:
     
  3. Hugo Gems: 15/31
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    Nice; it kinda feels like it leaves room for a sequel though; will there be a sequel
     
  4. Brascait Gems: 1/31
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    Thanks for your comments. As for a sequel... maybe. But probably not in the near future. *shrug* We'll see, I guess.
     
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