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Glasses of millspellings

Artifact (cursed)

Upon doning there glasses the wearer will se accutly all spelling errors made bu others on the board but will ignore any made by the wearer.

 

Belisarius' Wonderous Translator

Level: 2
School: Divination
Range: Sight of Caster
Duration: 1 day per level of caster
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 individual of the opposite sex of the caster.
Save: n/a

Description: By use this spell, the caster can gain insight into the mind of the opposite sex. The creates a link with the caster and the target, which provides the caster with the actual meaning of any statement uttered by the opposite sex.

For example:

She says - I'm sorry...It really means: You'll be sorry.

She says - Sure, go Ahead...It really means: I don't want you to.

She says - Maybe...It really means: No

She says - Are you listening to me? It really means: Too Late, you're dead!

She says: We need to talk
She means: I need to complain

She says: We need
She means: I want

She says - This kitchen is so inconvenient...It really means: I want a new house!

Although this spell will work when cast by a woman on a man, as you can see below, the male mind is not too difficult to translate:

He says: Do you want to go to a movie?
He means: I'd eventually like to have sex with you

He says: Can I take you out to dinner?
He means: I'd eventually like to have sex with you

He says: Can I call you sometime?
He means: I'd eventually like to have sex with you

He says: May I have this dance?
He means: I'd eventually like to have sex with you

He says: What's wrong?
He means: I guess sex is out of the question

He says: I'm bored
He meanse: Do you want to have sex?

He says: I love you
He means: Let's have sex now

He says: Let's talk
He means: I'm trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person so that you'd like to have sex with me

He says: Will you marry me?
He means: I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other men

Again, this spell will work considerably better when cast by a male, as female speech patterns can cover a myriad of topics without actually ever speaking of the topic they wish to discuss.

 

Bel, didn't you say your weekend was great in the "Hate to spoil your day" topic ?

 

It was.......But I've been working on this spell for a while!!!

 

And you will never come to an end in improving it. That is an eternal mission, much more difficult than the search for the Holy Grail.

 

Belisarius - I tried to cast your spell, but I guess either my INT & WIS are too low, or I rolled terribly.

The result was a chaos spell which effected me for 20 Turns, a loss of initiative for the rest of my marriage, and a "Slow" spell as I now have to think about everything I say a few times.


The target of my spell actually gained power by my casting of it and now has stats similar to Demogorgon. Please put a disclaimer when you sell this spell in the future. It is not for the weak of heart!

[This message has been edited by Mathetais (edited July 23, 2001).]