1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

Jokey Posties

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Blackthorne TA, Dec 21, 2005.

Page 33 of 37

  1. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,778
    Likes Received:
    11
    Remove all ads!
    Which one? Arnie remembers Bambi or Arnie got bitten by a coyote? :D
     
    nior, Jan 17, 2011
    #641
  2. Faye

    Faye Life is funny. Veteran

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    747
    Media:
    4
    Likes Received:
    9
    That coyote must have some real cojones to bite The Terminator™
     
    Faye, Jan 17, 2011
    #642
  3. joacqin

    joacqin Confused Jerk Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2001
    Messages:
    6,117
    Media:
    2
    Likes Received:
    121
    Seems like every problem can be solved with gun violence.
     
    joacqin, Jan 17, 2011
    #643
  4. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2004
    Messages:
    9,779
    Media:
    15
    Likes Received:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    HA HA HA HA ha-ha-ha-ha! You kill me ... that was a good one joacqin.

    And now for something complete different....

    Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

    The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two buddies, Billy Joe and Jim Bob.

    The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunt camp.

    Billy Joe arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Billy Joe said, 'Well, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

    The mortician rolled him over and Billy Joe said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley .' The mortician thought this was rather strange.

    So he brought Jim Bob in to confirm the identity of the body.

    Jim Bob looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over... 'The mortician rolled him over and Jim Bob said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'

    The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Jim Bob said, 'Well, Stanley had two butt holes.'

    'What? He had two anuses?' asked the mortician.

    'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: There's Stanley with them two *******s.'

    ION, I just found out you need to list *******s as two words ... ass ... and holes. :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2011
    T2Bruno, Jan 17, 2011
    #644

  5. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,778
    Likes Received:
    11
    Nice one T2, nice one. :grin:
     
    nior, Jan 17, 2011
    #645

  6. Alorekent Gems: 1/31
    Latest gem: Turquoise

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2011
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Physics Joke

    If you do well in life and stay positive, you'll have high potential!

    SO bad....
     
    Alorekent, Feb 2, 2011
    #646
  7. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2003
    Messages:
    8,252
    Media:
    82
    Likes Received:
    238
    Gender:
    Male
    Last edited: May 13, 2011
    Chandos the Red, May 13, 2011
    #647
  8. Aldeth the Foppish Idiot

    Aldeth the Foppish Idiot Armed with My Mallet O' Thinking Veteran

    Joined:
    May 15, 2003
    Messages:
    12,434
    Media:
    46
    Likes Received:
    250
    Gender:
    Male
    What does FML stand for?
     
    Aldeth the Foppish Idiot, May 13, 2011
    #648
  9. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Messages:
    7,141
    Media:
    74
    Likes Received:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    [​IMG] "My Life Is Currently In A Less Than Satisfactory State of Affairs"
     
    8people, May 13, 2011
    #649
  10. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

    Joined:
    May 3, 2003
    Messages:
    2,770
    Media:
    226
    Likes Received:
    236
    Gender:
    Male
    :lol:
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #650
  11. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2004
    Messages:
    9,779
    Media:
    15
    Likes Received:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    F-bomb me large ... it's taking "f-bomb me" to the next level.
     
    T2Bruno, May 13, 2011
    #651
  12. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    6,103
    Media:
    1
    Likes Received:
    241
    Gender:
    Male
    "F@&# My Life" is what it stands for.
     
    Death Rabbit, May 13, 2011
    #652
  13. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2004
    Messages:
    9,779
    Media:
    15
    Likes Received:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    I guess it depends on where you're from ... they mean the same thing though.
     
    T2Bruno, May 13, 2011
    #653
  14. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

    Joined:
    May 3, 2003
    Messages:
    2,770
    Media:
    226
    Likes Received:
    236
    Gender:
    Male
    Not nearly as eloquent as 8people's rendition... but I suppose it gets the job done.
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #654
  15. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    6,103
    Media:
    1
    Likes Received:
    241
    Gender:
    Male
    Nothing I say is a eloquent as 8peep's rendition.

    Except for her rendition of the Chaka Khan's "I Am Every Woman." Mine is totally better.
     
    Death Rabbit, May 13, 2011
    #655
  16. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Messages:
    7,141
    Media:
    74
    Likes Received:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    [​IMG] Can't argue with that! :D
     
    8people, May 13, 2011
    #656
  17. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

    Joined:
    May 3, 2003
    Messages:
    2,770
    Media:
    226
    Likes Received:
    236
    Gender:
    Male
    Well, that is a great song, so at least you've got that going for you! :D
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #657
  18. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Messages:
    6,586
    Media:
    2
    Likes Received:
    162
    Barmy Army, May 14, 2011
    #658
  19. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2004
    Messages:
    9,779
    Media:
    15
    Likes Received:
    441
    Gender:
    Male
    An Italian Mother (sent to me by an Italian friend who claims this could have been her mother)

    A few months after her son moved into the city, Mrs. Ravioli decided to visit him and his roomate for dinner. When she arrived she discovered her son Anthony had a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mrs Ravioli couldn't help but notice how pretty Maria was. While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. As if reading his mother's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

    About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

    "Well, I doubt it," he replied, "but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:

    Dear mama,

    I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

    Love, Anthony​

    ​

    Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

    Dear son,

    I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

    Love, Mama​

    ​
     
    T2Bruno, May 27, 2011
    #659
    Master of Nuhn likes this.
  20. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2000
    Messages:
    23,667
    Media:
    494
    Likes Received:
    574
    Gender:
    Male
    Haha, good one.
     
    Taluntain, May 27, 2011
    #660
Page 33 of 37
Sorcerer's Place is a project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of our time and funds on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!

Sorcerers.net is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to products on amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.