Relationship Rant Thread #3

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@Iku-Turso: While I might be the very last person to give this kind of advice - don't lose your hope that easily.

 

@ Ofelix :

... Je suis d'accord avec Caradhras, Ofelix ... laisse-les dire toute leur soi-disant "psychologie" de bazar :
c'est TON amie et TOI, Ofélix, qui avez la chance d'être amoureux : même si cela ne devait pas durer longtemps, qu'importe ? ... Quand la joie est là, il faut ne penser qu'à la joie !

Times of love are holy ones, ad even holy among the holy ones.
Anyway, lovers are blinded : and, there is a perhaps good thing that Love is blind, because he not thinks to all that is sad, ugly or gloomy.

Love thinks only to Love.

 

@Taza: She would already be mine if I would wish it so. But suffice to say that I am very cruel towards myself. I would be just as cruel towards her as well. It was one of the reasons my last relationship died. Because of this cruelty towards myself and other people. I'd have to learn to get rid of it, but it will take a lot of time. I don't want her to suffer the same way my ex had to suffer. She's not the same person as my ex is, but I'm still me. She might accept me as I am, but I cannot accept her as she is. She is only human. I've always fallen in love with ideals.

 

I hear you, Iku. I'm the same way as well, though I'm more incline to give the cold shoulder than be cruel. For some, it hurts just as much.

And remember this famous Pantera lyrics: "You can't be something you're not".

Taza's right here. Life's a bitch full of surprises, Iku.

 

... I seem to have gotten myself into a situation where I a) am in love with someone, b) have a crush on someone else and c) just am seriously physically attracted to a third guy.

And, making the universe's kick in my teeth more complete... none of this is reprociated in any level. and, 2 od ft hem are ina nother country, the third just on the other side of the country.

 

Well Arabwell ypu may not believe me but my predicament is somewhat close to yours.
I've been in love (unrequited of course) for 3 years with a girl who lives in Paris and I realized yesterday that I loved her still (we've become very close friends but that doesn't make things easy). I had a thing for a girl who lives in the city where I live but who is now seeing someone else... I've not seen her since she told me she had a boyfriend, I'm afraid I won't find her less attractive than before when I do see her. And to top it all I got involved (a sort of an understatement it's more than a crush) with a girl who will be soon leaving the country (and presumably the continent). So I'm torn. It sucks but that's life.

 

Well...my date took things amazingly well.

She's great, but I'm still not going to go into a relationship with her. Still for the same reasons, but it's good to know that we're still friends.

 

Well it's great that you can be friends, she must be a very special lady for you to feel that way.

 

Don't want to piss off anyone but oh my, the rendez-vous gallant I have had was just marevelous.

@Iku: Having a great friend is sometimes better than a love relationship, since most of the time it lasts longer. Beside isn't it better to have her as a friend rather than not have her at all?

 

My sympathies, Taza. Time heals all and all.

 

@Iku-Turso: Well, there's not much point dating if there's no relationship going to come out of it. At some point you'll have to make it decidedly romantic or decidedly unromantic. As for demanding too much of her by asking her to change her lifestyle, it's true that it's not your place to make such demands, but it's not like you have any obligation to put up with whatever she does. In other words, you don't have to prove your love for her by playing along with anything she comes up with.

@Taza: My sympathies and good luck recovering.

 

No.

When you still have something for someone, as Chev once told me, it's unbelievably hard to watch her dates, failed candidates and so come and go.

Usually if a woman doesen't want me, I'll step back and judge whenever she matters enough to me to remain a friend. Failing that, I back down and vanish in thin air.

No one has to agree with me, however.

*EDIT*

Well, I carefully pondered this... and it's not worth it. She has been spending the last five years rebuilding a fragile equilibrium and restoring her faith in us guys to some level, and needless to say I don't want to wreck it.

Also... I must honestly confess that my soul lies with another woman. One that I genuinely love, one which has ignited a spark in my soul. I do not know what the future holds for sure... but I certainly hope that it will be with her.

Je t'aime, mon ange, et mes pensees sont avec toi. (I love you, my angel, and my thoughts go with you.)

(Yep, I too speak french.)

[ November 19, 2006, 06:20: Message edited by: Disciple of The Watch ]

 

Not only do you speak French but you are a poet!

Girls love that kind of stuff.

 

It may be slightly off-topic, but a question just occured to me.

Girls everywhere like French, with it being the language of romance and all that. But does this apply to French girls too? Do they still find it romantic despite it being used in everyday conversations?

 

Given b and c, I have no reason to believe that a is real love

 

@Decados; obviously, at least here in the belle province.

 

Decados: you mean that girls like French because they associate the language with romance? And you want to know whether French girls make the same association?

I think people are often attracted by what is different and new. If you live in France you won't find French to be so romantic when you buy a baguette or order un café noir for instance.

I don't think it's the language that counts but rather the meaning of the words and whether they are spoken with sincerity or truthfulness:

I love you, ich liebe dich, lubim ta, te dua, te quiero, ja cie kocham, jeg elsker dig, obicham te, ik zie oe geerne, szeretlek te'ged, ti amo, seni seviyorum, mina rakastan sinua, te iu besc, mi amas vin, je t'aime...

 

@ Caradhras: Yes, I think you managed to work out what I was getting at.

'Twas just an idle thought that came to me.

I had noticed that a fair few girls tend to find words more romantic if they are in French. I guess this is 'cause it is different and has stronger connotations than English. Following that through, I wondered whether French girls viewed French in the same way, or whether they had an equivalent other language that was viewed positively.

Naturally, it is the thought behind what you are saying that counts the most, regardless of language.

 

Thank goodness!

She told me that she gets tired of trying to listen to me talking. I'm not taking that as an insult. Yup. I know. I talk too much. I'm a poor conversationalist. I know, I know.

Now I don't have to feel guilty about not liking her enough. Or about not getting into a relationship with her.

Here's me dodging another bullet. And another. And another.

 

I always said that "If you can't say it, write it". There are precious few gals who enjoy such a thing here, sadly.

Poetry is my favored form of expression. I express both good and bad things through my works. There are positive, beautiful works in my collection, but also several gloomy ones.

Congrats, Iku, I guess. If you think it's for the best, then so be it!