The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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Dalveen walks out of his massage parlour after having his "massage", and sees Alexander there begging for more of the massage by fat, hairy, smelly, old men.
"you sick weirdo" Dalveen then chucks Alexander into the fast food stall, much to the annoyance of Bonzo.
..................................................
out of story:
is the story a sp record breaker??
by that i mean has it got the most posts out of any story ever in sp
and is 200 posts in one day a new record?

 

RotKU, after his hockey practice, comes charging back in mounted on his gaint bear. "AHHHHHH" he screams as he draws his double handed sword and charges at the nearest thing, which just so happened to be a lamp post. After a while of hacking that apart RotKU reliseing his mistake charges off to the nearest enemy.
After a while of this RotKU askes his highly intelegent gaint bear what the time is and almost jumps out of his seat when her hears the reply. "Shoot, i got to get home, But have no fear i will be back

 

Frostbite snarls unhappily at Yerril, whos Antibody just consumed one of her favourite daggers.
Using her limited magical powers, she summons up her handy staff of manhood hacking +6, + 10 vs. men.

Grinning evily at Yerril as she slinks towards him, her Wyverns eyes glowing evily.

 

8people glares around angrily. "I am married? Why was I not consulted on this matter!"

"I return from the offices with Bonzos shiny new license" (chucks it to Bonzo) "and I am MARRIED? Chevalier, I suggest an alliance again, and I extend it to you to Yerril. Or I'll borrow Frostys' staff, believe me, I'm highly proficient in it."

 

Dlaveen walks over to frosbite and whacks them on the head with a frying pan
"HA, have at you"
Dalveen then proceeds to hit Frostbite with every kitchen utensil thats in his pocket of ever spawning kitchen utensils

 

Mediv stops poking the dead wolf and sits on a large rock, scratching his chin.

"Hmm.."

A rather ominous thought enteres his mind then, super-imposed upon the other wanderings of his mind.

"What Am I going to do with about a thousand bloodythristy, dismounted troops before they get impaitient and start pillageing?"

He peers out onto the battle field.

"Oops, to late.."

 

Chevalier as a truly devoted paladin is immune to lame godmoding and thus he is not stoned by the omnipetrifying spell.

Chevalier also does not fully appreciate the way Dalveen treats Alex and is about to administer some holy justice unless the situation changes.

@8people: 'You seem good and certainly you are not evil. However, as times are hard, you should prove to be on the side of Good or Order. Yerril is a bit suspicious...'

@Lord Keldrin Depaara: <You don't truly believe in balance, do you?>

@Mediv: 'Enough of this pillage! Send the gobles back to their burrows or I'm coming there for you.'

 

Dalveen stops hitting Frostbite with his kitchen utensils and walks over to Chevalir and chucks him in to the massage parlour where, as you guessed, there were fat, hairy, smelly, old men waiting to give him a massage

 

Mediv climbs up on a hill overlooking his troops, who are plundering houses, burning stuff, and mugging old people.

"Halt!!!"

The troops look up at there leader expectantly, waiting for his orders

"Go home! You are no longer needed! Depart of fear my wrath!"

The goblins dont look impressed. One speaks up.

"You no fit to lead! Grotag and horde get you, stupid human-thing!"

Mediv, for all his arrogance and bluster, runs away. The horde of goblinoids start chasing him round the battlefield.

 

Aikanaro floats back down to Earth after disappearing for a while. He looks refeshed, leveled, and very pissed off.
So as a matter of pricipal he grabs himself a barrel of oil and tips it over Sniper's head, then throws a match on him.

 

Dalveen sees his allys distress at being chased by a greenskin army, so he casts a new spell called green skin to goldfish, which causes the whole army to turn into goldfish, unfortunatley the spell is not quite perfected and the goldfish can now fly and breath without water.

 

Chevalier isn't really fond of big hairy men and quickly leaves the sorry brothel taking Alex with him. As the hairy men demand appeasement, chevalier casts Hold Blasphemer on Dalveen and throws him in there before locking the door and disposing of the key.

 

Mediv turns to see any army of flying goldfish chasing him, murmmering watery curses...

"That musta been one damn spicy burrito I ate.."

 

Dalveen quickly smashes down the door and runs for his life.
"ok mayby i should get rid of those men"
Dalveen decides not to and then chucks some poor person into the massage parlour to keep the men happy.

Dalveen then goes hunting for revenge and pulls out his new invention "the tracker of annoying holy paladin tracking" and finds chevalir then starts hitting over the head with his "rubber hammer of annoying+(-20)"

 

"Oh dear ..."

Sniper runs around in circles as the match hits home and boosts him up in flames. Sprinting around in desparation, he sprints into the main battlefield.

"YEEEEOOOOWWWWWW!" BOOM! SCREAM! BOOM! SILENCE

All that remains is the 5000 odd charred corpses.

Aikanaro + 1 for set pieces
Sniper + 5000 for kills

 

A sudden idead dawns on Mediv, and he turns to face the goldfish..

As he waits for them to close the gap he starts rumaging around in The Bag of Magical Swag +23, and pulls out what he needs to implement a cunning plan...

As the flying Goblin-Fish are about to be upon him, he tosses a large fishermens net into the
air, neatly catching the fish in it.. He then grabs the corners and brings them together, forming...

The Fish-Flail of Doom!!

 

Dalveen realises that he is a but burnt by the explosion and casts burn to flesh on himself then as per usual of spells designed by Dalveen it spreads over the whole area and every one starts fighting again
"i reall need to fix my spell making ability" muttered Dalveen to himself

"Oi Sniper what happened there, i thought we were allys, i even gave you a free massage a my place"

 

Sephitoth awakes of his great slumber, and sees Chevaliers holy water, wich should have killed Sephiroth. Because it smelled very well, he decides to take it as his aftershave , he needs to ask Chevalier later for the content materials ...
Seeing Mediv catching the gold fishes, Sephiroth decides to help the poor fishes and transform them into Phyrania fishes wich bite a whole through Medivs fishermans net ...

 

8people phases over to Sniper,
"I want a divorce you chauvanistic pig!" she slaps him before phasing over to Chevalier.
"Chevalier, you need as many allies as you can get, I may be Chaotic Neutral but I still support law and good, an alliance would be the way forward, I could send the fray into a lawful frame of mind if you ally with me."

 

Frostbite, relieved that she has stoppped being attacked with Kitchen utensils. Dashing over to 8people, Frostbite hands her bladed staff, Manhood Hacker +6, +10 vs men to 8people, trusting her to use it for her own good, and the good of femme kind.

With that, Frostbite envoked her summoning skills again. The air infront ofer her shimmers, and a huge giant sword appears.

Frostbite has successfully envoked the Giant Two handed Sword of Manhood Removal +10. The sword begins to glow faintly, with the proximity of all these men.
*grins evilly*

Time to get back at Dalveen for all those bruises.

MUHA!