The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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Alexander the Great trembled in anger because Rallymama mocked him about his armour. He attacked her and BANG! But upon the impact a white light covered the whole arena and left as quckly as it came. The weapon was now destroyed as well as his armor. The previous trembling was nothing to this one. He grabbed the chain shir from Rallymama's hand and wore it." $%^(%&*#&@ *^E@#&^ #&$%#* $%@#&$% (*$#%*^ @#&# ": Alexander shouted. "I PAID 1,000,000 GP FOR THAT PIECE OF **** AND NOW IT DESTROYED!! I'll open a new hot dog stand and make the money I lost"
And Alexander did what he said and opened a new hot dog stand next to Bonzo's. He named it "Alekos to kalo hot dog"(=Alex --- the delicious hot dog) and started producing his sauce once again.
@Bonzo:<Do you want to become partners?>

 

little did Alexander know that Dalveen was making a new fireball spell to be cast at his hotdog stand, only when it was too late did Alexander find out about this spell. that was when he saw a gigantic molten fireball flying at him.
"hehe that will teach you for stealing bonzo's buisness" laughed Dalveen while pointing to the charred remains of Alexander and his hotdog stand
"well thats one goody-goody, now for chevalir"

 

Chevalier attacked by a goble worg rider kicks the worg in the snout, picks the goblin and throws him into the pond in which Khelben is having a bath.

'Nothing helps better than some artillery properly applied'

Then he winks back at Rallymama

 

"You may have beaten me but I still have that recipe!" said Alexander and charged at Dalveen and grabbed his throat and strangled him.

 

(may i remind you alexander that you are little more than a charred pile of ash, cmon we have to add a little bit of realism to this, maybe if some one ressurected you then you could do that)

Dalveen teleports beside chevalir and stabs him in the back with his "superly dooperly pooperly gooperly powerful dagger of the ole knife in the back trick+5, +100000 bonus when used from behind"
"hehe that will teach you to stab me in the lungs, and if you recover from this one then ive got my hammer of paladin crushing for you"

Dalveen then teleports over to sniper
"this here is doctor frankenstein, he specialises in sowing bits of the body together, im sure he can solve you problem"

 

A good cleric ressurected Alexander.

Alexander found a nice shiny sharp sword buried but it was unidentified. He used his Knowledge(arcana) skill and found out that this sword was a Dalveen-Type Evildoer Slayer +0, +0.0001 vs. Dalveen-type evildoers. He started laughing because he knew he could kill any evil in the arena.

 

off storyk i see that now
IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS, IGNORE THIS,

 

I edited my last post. Look.


Bye guys, I'll be here in some hours. I have to go to the English lesson.

 

Yerril is temporarily saddened by the fact that Chevalier thinks he is suspicious. He calls in assurance that his motives were pure. Purely perverted.

He is also momentarily worried by Frosty's newfound interest in hacking off his genitals, but reconciles himself with the fact that it would take a sniper rifle at point-blank range to come anywhere near the target on such a cold day as this.

He continues to advance on Poodle and Clive, who appear to be doing nothing in particular...

 

The good cleric was in fact an angel from Heaven, who descended on earth granting chevalier's humble prayer

 

For a good half hour, Sniper just stands there ... gobsmacked ...

*Another half hour later*

Sniper comes to his senses and puts his hand in his pocket to find his birthday present from his mum. On it was a label which read:

*Happy 18th Sniper! Here's a potion of manhood restoration should certain things befoul you! Enjoy, lots of love, Mummy XXXXXXXXX*

Sniper grins, opens the cork and gulps down the potion. And true to her word, Sniper looks down to see his livlihood come back to say hello once again.

"Ha! I am back! ... Again!"

Sniper looks around to see Frostbite with his back against him. Chuckling to himself, Sniper draws out a long, thin pole. Scampering up behind Frostbite, Sniper reals back the pole, gives Frostbite a wedgy and then lets rip with the long ... very long pole!

"YEEEEEOOOOOWWWWW!!! ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER!"

A scream ensues though it could be debated that the scream doesn't contain so much the 'ah the hurts' but more 'hmm ... baby' ... I'll let you imagine the rest

*3 seconds later*
Sniper runs towards Devleen with a revival kit, leaving Frostbite, several thousand feet up in the air ... with a very long pole... 'attatched' to him

 

Bonzo is very glad that his burger bar was protected all the while by his mustard bottle induced perimeter sanctuary and so all those who have sough to destroy it have failed. Forethort is a great advantage

Hmm there have been a mighty few alliances over the past day.

Sends a message to 8people and Apeman <hey are we still allies?>

Bonzo comes out of the BBBBBB and switches the sign to open. Seeing Sephiroth who attempted to damage the BBBBBB Bonzo drawas his Everlasting Flail of Firey Exploding Fruit +17 and prepares to do battle! However before doing battle Bonzo eats a few hot dogs of damage absorption (just in case).

 

The newly divorced 8people spies the trouble to her allies and gets into action.

8people hides in the shrubs near Sniper and shoots him up the derrier wit her arrows of biting, the poinson on them sets to work, as does the jagged edges.

She then turns to take care of Khelben with a swift blackjack before whispering to him
"Your trousers were undone,"

Seeing the rival burger bar, 8people searches the corners of Alexanders mind until finding the secret recipe, smiling at her work she attaches a bomb to the stand and phases to drop the recipe off at Bonzos.

@Sniper - Frostbite is a GIRL as well, 8peopel gets her staff borrowed from Frosty and whacks Sniper with it, hard.

 

To 8people <many thanks for this recipe>

Bonzo looks at the recipe. This?! This is the same recipe my family were using 2 generations ago! You dirty thief!

Bonzo turns his attention from Sephiroth, and starts stalking Alexander the 'Great'.

 

Sephiroth recognizes that Lazy Bonzo doesn't pay any attance at him runs fast to Lazy Bonzos bar and " borrows " some hamburges...

 

Excuse me... I'm a girl

Everyone seems to have forgotten about my baby wyvern?

*Stuck up in the air she mutters a small bunch of mystic words*
The two of them begin to glow with an un earthly light...
They are combining souls, each becoming the very essence of the other. The wyvern becomes incorporial, and floats into Frostbite. Their forms joining together...

Everyone looks up at the new image, a woman with bat like wings and a stinger tail descends down after revenge, weilding her giant two handed sword of manhood removal, she flaps over everyones head towards Snipers un guarded back

 

Sniper looks at Frostbite

"Oh ... sorry ... *THWOK* OUCH! Babe! Lovey! What you do that for? ... Damn this crusade is gonna take longer then i thought..."

Sniper limps off towards Devleen and casts a revival spell on him. The spell takes affect and the Devleen's spirit zips back to his former body and wakes up as good as new!

<Devleen, Mediv ... I thik we're outnumbered! We need more allies!>

Sniper then wizzes around and fires of a volleyof Magic missiles of tickling at 8people

The missiles sink into 8people causing her to shriek about with laughter as the missiles take affect. Sniper smiles to himself and takes astep forward to get a better view. As he does so, he trips and falls on his face. Just in the nick of time! The Frostbite Wyvern ...thing swoops on him but just misses!

 

Rallymama smacks Sephiroth's knuckles with her +12 Ruler of Smiting and sends him to a corner to write "I will keep my hands to myself" on a markerboard 1,000 times.

She then places a tray of delectable pastries on the BBBBB counter, along with a sign posting prices for the desserts. Customers flock in. Lazy Bonzo makes enough money to pay for early retirement.

 

Sephiroth starts to cry, hoping he could impress Rallymama enough, to give him at least a lolly ...

 

Bonzo noticing, though not minding too much, Sephiroth pinching a few hamburgers. A plan enters his mind, and he sends telepathic message to Sephiroth:

<You certainly seem to like your hamburgers, and you have proven yourself a formidable fighter. I know we have had our differences in the past, what with me throwing you down the Abyss as a hot dog, and you trying to turn BBBBBB into a firey mess, but i'm willing to put that behind me. I offer you a bargain, hamburgers whenever you wish if you ally with me?>