The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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Due to Apeman's vines the hot dog merely caused Sephiroth to end up hanging over the abyss, that's one way to sing your eyebrows!

Bonzo then reaches underneath his stand and pulls out a hot dog costume, which he hands to Apeman. 'Share and Enjoy'. Bonzo gives Apeman a complimentary hot dog, then starts firing mustard at Sephiroth.

 

Sephiroth sees how miserable his situation is, because he can't get a hamburger . But now Sephiroth is very happy, that he casted the emergency spell in the morning for exactly a situation like that. Immeadetly bann magic will be cast, so this entangle will be gone, and than Sephiroth gains stoneskin and greater invisibility. After that he walks to Lazy Bozo to ask for a hamburger, ignoring Apeman for a while.
Greatly shoked he must recognize that Lazy Bonzo is shooting mustard at him, because he is invisible Lazy Bonzo doesn't hit. So he walks over to Lazy Bonzos stand and fetches a ketchup bottle, and fires back at Lazy Bonzo.

 

Apeman saw sephirot give him a 'this ain't over yet look', but Apeman the almost always neutral didn't care and rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for the hot dogs and the suit Bonzo, I'll be back in my comfy chair again if you need me. Contact me anytime"

With that done Apeman walked back to his comfy chair and said to this familiar:

"Trade this deliscious hot dog suit for my normal garment?"

The fearie dragon looked at the suit and quickly said:

"sure thing boss"

With his normal clothes on and back into his comfy chair he looked down the arena and watched what the others were doing by now.

 

Bonzo is surprised to see a ketchup bottle lift itself off the stand and start shooting at him. However, having realised the culprit must be Sephiroth, Bonzo uses the floating ketchup bottle as a target and starts to cover Sephiroth in mustard, ketchup, onions, etc. As each of these hit Sephiroth he becomes easier and easier to locate until Bonzo is ready for his final attack.

He picks up a huggggge hot dog bun and starts to walk towards Sephiroth, shileding himself from the ketchup fire with the bun.

 

Seeing Lazy Bonzo coming nearer and nearer, Sephiroth takes quickly the oil of the hot dogs and throws it over Lazy Bonzo, he than thinks, that only one time burning hands and it would be over...

 

Gothmog dozed off in the near-summer heat so he missed the returned message of Apeman. When he awakes he gets it and happily sends a sparrow with message of the meeting place where they could discuss their mastermind plans.

*Where you are now go left for 10sec, then turn right 4 times and then continue untill you get to a hidden violet tree (you have to look hard to notice it becouse there is some grass growing in front of it).*

 

Yerril, becoming bored, dismisses the hookers with a quick "dispel magic". He stands, pulls his trousers up, and adjusts his flashy garments. He re-ruffles his tousled hair, and claps his hands in preparation for a new spell. Calling on his imense creative, intellectual, physical, and spiritual might, he casts "Summon Host of Invincible Heavenly Ass-whooping Holy Avenger Hookers with Longswords +A Zillion". Instantly, he is surrounded by a crowd of beautiful, armour clad hookers, each with an aura of pure goodness. Yerril leaps into the fray, downing a can of whoopass and wielding his own mighty Longsword of Ass Kickin'.

 

Bonzo is rather worried that oil is getting on his clothes, but decides that he will solve that later. Right now it's time for the big big big big big big BIG hot dog trick. Seeing Sephirot right in front of him, covered in onions, mustard, ketchup, and gherkins, Bonzo slams the huge hot dog bun round Sephiroth, clamping down as hard as possible. Then seals it up with more mustard and ketchup.

"This hot dog's gonna need a reeeal big flame!" says Bonzo.

Carrying the Cold Sephirot Dog ina Bun overhead Bonzo walks closer to the edge of the whole to the abyss, then throws the Cold Sephiort Dog ina Bun into the hole.

"Goooodbye! I'm sure you'll be a hot dog soon " yells Bonzo.

Having disposed of a tiresome foe, Bonzo returns to his Hot Dog stand and waits for customers.

 

Alexander the Great is back after after a break as he said. He stood on a hill and saw the scene with flying Apeman and the Full Plate Mail and started shouting: "APEMAN! YOU HAVE MY ARMOUR" Apeman stopped and gave Alexander's armour back to him since the forces of Good were in danger. Alexander wore his -shiny- Mithral Full Plate Mail and searched for Dalveen who tricked him. After some time he saw him and punished him for his evil trick crushing all his bones. Then he went to the jail and locked Dalveen up for 7454518345875 years.

Outside the jail he saw Chevalier dragging a couple of enemies and told him: "So are we allies?" and Chavalier sensed Alexander's aura of super-goodness and said: "Absolutely! You should become a paladin like me sometimes, you know."

Then he went to the battlefield and except the dead bodies he saw a huge crack on the ground leading to the Abyss and tons of spilled ketchup and mustard. Alexander finally found his army butchered, killed, slain and shouted: "YOU'LL REGRET IT". But after all this he got hungry and went to Lazy Bonzo to buy a hot dog exactly the moment Bonzo threw Sephiroth in the Abyss. "What was that?", he said and then Bonzo told him the whole story. "Anyway, good riddance Sephiroth. Ha ha ha. Now, lets talk about business. I want 20 hot dogs."

 

Eze throws a 5$ bill to Lazy Bonzo and grabs one of the hot dogs. She eats it and grabs some Pepsi and gulps it down.

"Yes, let's kill the blue-blooded!"

So Eze proceeds to hack chevalier into tiny little pieces.

Then she grabs Apeman and flungs down from the high skyscraper.

 

One of the Holy Hookers casts Ressurect on Chevalier.

Meanwhile, Yerril engages Eze with a sick joke about X-Men, and while she is laughing, he quickly sneaks in an incantation. Finishing the casting of "Abi-Dalzim's Teenage Angst-Breaker" he watches as Eze's problems melt away, a sense of well-being descends around her, and she hugs Chevalier.

Yerril winks at no-one, and prances off again.

 

Bonzo sells Alexander 20 hot dogs, "share and enjoy".
Seeing Eze trying to throw Apeman off of a skyscraper he shouts to Apeman, "LOOK OUT!", then rushes off with a mattress to break his allies fall.

 

Chevalier has butchered everything evil in sight that wouldn't surrender, that is everything evil in sight, and as he's catching breath he feels a sudden impulse inside his brain.

<We are going to have guests behind that hill to the North in a quarter, master>

<Confirmed>

Consequently, marking his way with bloody corpses chevalier progresses towards the hill steadily but not so hastily as to attract too much attention. Within ten minutes he has crossed the hill...

'Captain sir Geoffrey Blunt-Bludgeon reports Borderville Cavalry Detachment for duty! Milord, it's an honour...'

'Well met, Captain. I suppose you have a spare horse?'

'Everything is prepared, master' the squire materialises by chevalier's side. 'The horse, the armour... Yes, the dragon armour, not the plate. Please, allow me to help you...'

A short while later a small but determined body of cavalry occupies the top of the hill, appearing so sorely insignificant betwixt the ocean of green at their feet and infinite blue above their heads. In their lead a young knight with wisdom far beyond his years emanating from his noble face raises his sword and points its tip at the evil scum profaning the womb of Mother Earth beneath the hill, the rays of afternoon sun reflecting from the blade as the pretaste of the light that will burn unholy swarms.

'Gentlemen, as far as I see, we happen to outnumber them one to twenty.' His arrogant voice needs not be raised to spread far and sounds somehow misplaced in mortal lips even though obviously marked with earthly pain. 'Onward!'

Before the echo has faded away they are charging down the hill in complete silence, men and horses suspended in mid-air as though Earth herself hastened their passage.

[ May 11, 2003, 16:29: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Apeman thought he was still sitting in his comfy chair when he heard lazy bonzo life saving warning call. Then and there he struggled with the idea of casting yet another featherfall but decided against when he saw the mattress.

Saved by the mattress, Apeman thanked Bonzo and shook his hand. Seeing that Eze and Chev are friends again he wisely took the directions gothmog had left him. He returned to his comfy chair from there he went 10 secs to the left and turned around for 4 times not realizing he was exectly where he was were he started

Now apeman was frantically searching for the violet tree, but just couldn't find it.

<hmmm, more direction gothmog please >

 

Alexander gives Lazy Bonzo 10 gold pieces and says: "You can keep the change"

Anyway, Alexander sees Eze killing Chavalier and attacks. His mighty warhammer was an inch over Eze's head (without realising it) when he saw her hugging ressurected Chevalier but he couldn't stop his weapon and CRACK!
"Sorry"

Chevalier shocked left the area running only to be seen much later by Alexander the Great. Charging on the horseback with the cavalry behind him Alexander the Great stood there overwhelmed by awe When he came round the cavalry was 20 meters away from him. Alexander started jumping around (Jump skill: -500) with joy yelling: "FATE TOUS! GAMISTE TOUS!" in Greek.

[ May 11, 2003, 16:33: Message edited by: Alexander the Great ]

 

Charging at the head of his cavalry chevalier notices from afar that Alex is having some chronological problems. The paladin exorcises Alex who nows the correct sequence of events and thanks him telepathically for rushing to his defence some good time before. Then he continues to proceed towards the greatest mass of evil scum to dispatch them into oblivion crushing pagan skulls on his way.

 

After hours of climbing ( and beeing all the way up liked by some demons ) Sephiroth arrives at the top of the entrance to hell. "God thanks," he said "that Alexander didn't closed it like last time". After seeing X-men 2 Sephiroth has a few nice ways to welcome Lazy Bonzo !
When he sees him he points at him and suddenly Lazy Bonzo is lifted up and some of his metal screws are flying away from him. Then they return to Lazy Bonzo with match 2 and slash him into pieces. Now the cruel Sephiroth laughs his arse of

 

[OOC since when have i been made out of metal?]

In Character: Bonzo drops to the arena clutching, trying to clutch, at his body. One of his hands seems to have gone walkies, and the other seems to have got impaled on something. He looks to see what, ignoring the throbbing pain in his body, a sword! A sword? A stupid sword! Bonzo growls and tries to stand, but collapses back down. With a painful yank his hand is free of the sword, though it has left a neat slit through flesh, bone, and all.

The pain is almost unbearable, he knows he's going to pass out again. In his last momentst before passing out again he telepathically says to apeman <help?> and then everything goes black.

 

[Your Avatar seems to be of metal]
Seeing Lazy Bonzo slowly suffer, fills Sephiroths heart with compassion, so he speaks a healing spell and runs away, because nobody should see the mighty evil Sephiroth helping someone...

 

[oh! I wasn't actually seeing myself as being a Modron but i see where the confusion came from]

Bonzo stands to his feet, healed (and with no metal parts, just your normal human; with brillant blue eyes). He picks up the sword that had impaled his hand, and strides off looking for someone to behead.
Bonzo is heard muttering "i'll let you live this time Sephiroth".