The Kingdom of Aryol, and its many heroes...please be critical !

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Alright, you wanted me to read this, so I'm going to be mean (after all, if I'm not, how will you improve? ). Yep, a real literary critique. Feel flattered, I don't often bother.

Anyways.

You do have a way with words, however, it's obvious that you're putting together a text using phrases you've heard before. That is, cliched phrases. My advice to you is, when you're writing, to experience what you're writing with your own "eyes" rather than through the eyes of others (metaphorically speaking. And yes, I know it sounds cheesy). That is, for example, don't think about how Tolkien or whichever publicized and acclaimed fantasy author would describe a battle scene - think about how you would describe it.

Two things make a good author. The first is their spark of originality, in the use of ideas, but also in the use of language. The second is having something to say. I'm sure you can write a good fantasy story, but will it be anything more than a fantasy story? Do you have something you want to tell people? Now, I want you to run along and read a couple of books (if you haven't read them already), not just for content but for style.

These for originality, style, and a lot of other things (real masterpieces):
Gabriel Garcia Marquez - "100 Years of Solitude"
Salman Rushdie - "The Satanic Verses"
Toni Morrison - "Song of Solomon"

An example of fantasy books with something to say (if I think of more for this list, I'll edit the post...):
Richard Goodkind - "Faith of the Fallen"
Philip Pullman - "His Dark Materials" trilogy: "The Northern Lights", "The Subtle Knife", "The Amber Spyglass".
P.C. Hodgell - "Dark of the Gods". This one's a personal favorite, but odds are you won't be able to find it.

And remember, buy through SP (if at all possible)!

[ December 09, 2003, 10:21: Message edited by: Tiamat ]

 

Thanks for your feedback! Obviously I would be affected by well known authors, and the descrptions they use, however I feel that the majority of what I say is my own.

I apreciate the book list on originality, but the other one, on Fantasy I have to disagree with.

I thought Paulmen mixed and matched Sci-Fi and Fantasy, as well as mathamatics, in order to create a mediocore set of books. I prefer Wilbur Smith, Bernard Cornwell, Raymond E. Feist, etc...although Terry Goodkind was very good

Once again, I apreciate yout feedback, and will play closer attention to my descrptions to ensure they are my own, rather than borrowed from another author.


Thank you so much for your feedback, and although I don't understand stome of it, will try and take the majority to heart.

[ December 09, 2003, 22:44: Message edited by: The_Apprentice ]