Two "moral dilemmas" of a sort

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This may only interest me, but I found this a fascinating quote. That is because I assumed it was a married couple that couldn't have children, whereas I'm guessing you read it as either a lesbian couple or you are assuming that the guy and/or Aldazer swing both ways .

For disclosure purposes I believe my reasoning was because just last week I was consulting with a couple that is having problems conceiving as opposed to any political tendenancies

 

Thanks BTA. I have to slow down when I'm reading.

 

Ah, I had missed that, too. In that case, I definitely would NOT feel comfortable saying 'yes' to one, but again, it's up to you. If the non-lawyers on here are correct, and even legally binding contracts will get thrown out of court, I would definitely say 'no', especially since you don't really know these people.

 

I've been told that the attempted conception, again IF I say yes, will be the turkey-baster method as mentioned previously by Drew

I'm not really sure as yet, there has only been 2 instances of sexual contact so far and not only am I attracted to her but I enjoy just spending time with her so perhaps it's more of a good friendship now, and as for:

To my understanding this girl really does not like her mother very much and regularly complains of how overbearing and strict she is, though this may stem from the fact that the girl in question has Asperger's Autism, which she tells me causes her to feel emotions in the extreme

 

I was going to say "no" to both questions anyway, but I'm a little confused as to some of the more recent opinions. Regarding the lesbian relationship:

Why would that make any difference at all? In other words if it was a straight couple that was trying to get pregnant, that would be more of a reason to agree to the request? That doesn't make any sense to me at all. It sounds like an equally bad idea to me regardless of the sexual orientation of the women involved.

I really wish we had some lawyers here with some knowledge on this topic (we certainly have lawyers on the boards, I just don't know of any where this is their area of expertise). It's just so counterintuitive. How can a legally bindind contract get thrown out of court? It seems to be logically false - an impossibility. If it is thrown out of court, then it cannot possibly be considered legally binding. Maybe the point is that there's no way to make a contract of this nature legally binding? I'm genuinely asking this as a serious question, because to me it makes no sense.

If that's the case, it doesn't matter what you answer, because this woman has about a 0.01% chance of getting pregnant. The reason people spend thousands of dollars for artificial insemination is that it's not an easy process to get to work. If you were actually going to have sex with her, I think you would improve your odds. I'm just saying that unless one of the people involved here work at a place that does artificial insemination, then chances are none of you know what you are doing, and chances are this isn't going to work.

Let me get this straight - she has an overbearing mother AND she's mental? I certainly hope she's smoking hot because that's a pretty bad combination. And I think I speak for guys everywhere when I say that there does come a point when it doesn't matter how hot the girl is. If she's bat sh*t crazy, then how hot she is doesn't even matter. I'm kind of confused why you're even interested in this woman. I just looked up some info on Asperger's Autism and my limited research indicates to me that this chick is somewhere between crazy and retarded. Nice catch there!

 

wait, you mean ALL women aren't mental??
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hehehe. just kidding dear..... really......put the roller down....please...........oowww!?!

 

Well, its really very simple. If you believe such a relationship is sinful, unstable, unsafe, and/or unhealthy, you shouldn't support it and definitely shouldn't put a child in it. Let's put it this way, if it were an alcoholic single woman with no support looking to have a child, would you support it? I'm not trying to say lesbians are the same as alcoholic single women with no support, but you almost certainly see the latter as an improper situation to add a child to. I see the former similarly.

 

Fair enough. But just to clear, you weren't in favor of the idea to begin with, right? If you list them being homosexual as another reason on a list of reasons that you would be opposed to it, it's one thing. However, I think it is quite another thing if you were at first in favor of it, and are now opposed to it simply because they are gay.

 

No, actually, my position the whole time has been, if you're OK with it, then I don't see why not. If you're OK with helping a couple of lesbians you kinda-sorta know through your wife's work to raise a child that happens to be half you (and you can legally protect yourself) then I don't see any good reason NOT to help people you can help.

The only part of my position that changed was that I personally would be comfortable with helping a heterosexual couple concieve that was having trouble, but I wouldn't be comfortable helping a homosexual couple. That's just my personal comfort, though.

 

Aside from my comfort level, or lack of, in the actual procedure, my personal feelings on helping any couple conceive are based, I guess, on my experience of losing contact with my eldest son due to his mother's mental instability. This may seem a weird rationale or weird comparison but to me I would gladly accept anyone's help in safely getting that contact back (meaning keeping him safe from his mother's personal and mental issues) because i know he's out there waiting for me in some way, and so based on that if I can help someone "find" the child who is, theoretically, waiting for them then I will. Granted though, this is still an awkward situation and not at all because of the sexual orientation of the couple in question, more because of the whole method involving a little plastic cup. I'd no doubt feel the same about donating sperm to a legitimate sprem bank.

As for the girl, there is just something sweet, disarming, calming about being around her, she is very intelligent and I've found that very rare in most of the girls I've met, she can actually hold a conversation and add to it intelligently without always turning it around to be about her.

And Aldeth,

I don't claim at all to be an expert on Asperger's or to attack you in any way for your comment, but from what this girl has told me perhaps you only found info on how it affects men? I only wonder this because she told me that the 'male version' of Asperger's is quite different from the 'female version'. Apparently in males it has the tendency to basically show in mood swings, violence - hampering judgement and conscience in a destructive manner - and inability to make friends or have a social life many would consider 'normal' while in females it basically amplifies emotions to various extremes. Though obviously both are manageable with treatment and management mechanisms. Again though, I'm only going by what she has told me